A couple months back my wife's best friends was killed my her ex boyfriend and father of her two kids. You can read the story on my wife's blog here http://www.thebusybudgetingmama.com/2011/06/my-best-friends-funeral-victim-of.html
I had the pleasure of meeting Shannon and spending some time with her but I didn't know her all that well. I never thought that it would be possible to suffer so much for the lose of someone that I didn't know that well personally. Like I said, she was my wife's best friend. Seeing the pain and sadness that my wife has to deal with rips a part of my heart out and its hard not to be angry about what happened. I did also meet her ex once and I had a hard time liking him from the get go and now its a lot harder since she is gone.
Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
How can I love him? Pray for him...ok i got that down but love? Love someone who has caused so much suffering to my wife, to everyone who loved Shannon, I just don't know if I can God. Seeing my wife feel so down for weeks straight and still seeing her sadness stirs up emotions in me that are not of love. Natalie has been so great through this hard time in her life ( the hardest time ) Praying for Shannon's soul for her kids and even the person who killed her best friend.
I cannot even write down the thoughts and feelings that have come into my head through all of this. There have been many times where my faith has really been tested, really tested. With so much anger towards this person how can I forgive. Now God is telling me to love? Wow, Christ really stirs up His believers. Now for the question. Do I want to be a believer in Christ, or a follower of Christ?
How was Jesus able to forgive all of the people who were killing Him? Christ became human so that we may become divine and in forgiving Chris of killing Shannon and causing all of this pain in the people who loved her is going to take a divine act of love. I can say I forgive him, I can pray for his soul, but how do I love a murderer? How did Jesus do it? How did Jesus call Saul to be one of the most amazing followers of Him when he was a murderer? Only with divine love, love that is not human but the love of Christ.
Lord, Help me to love my enemies. Please empty myself of my thoughts and hate. Help me to forgive a man that has cause so much pain to my soul mate. My soul hurts for her but i know her soul hurts more. Help us to both seek you and try to be like you, a true lover of all. Help me to give me heart to you so that it would love everyone cause it is found in you and you alone. Only then will I be able to Love this man. I want to love my enemies but I need your grace to be able to do so. Give me that grace and give more of it to my wife, and even more of it to Chris. Help all the people suffering this lose to feel your comfort Lord and please help them to find You within Chris, as we were all made in your image and likeness. Change the heart of Chris so that he may know your love and show it to others. Please let evil leave him, anything that would hold him back from you. Lord he needs you more than us right now. Lord thank you for being such an amazing example and help all of us to love as you did, Loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us. Amen
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